Nathan Ryan is turning one. His parents
are very excited about it and they plan to celebrate accordingly. Nathan will be
the cause of a lot of excitement on his special day. He will also be the cause
of some reflective moments spent by those whom he barely
knows.
I was very excited when Jennifer told me
she was expecting. Her news also made me more than a little sad. It has been
more than ten years since we first met back in college and over the years our
friendship has changed, developed, and grown as Jenny and I have. Now, with her
news, I could see our friendship going in a new
direction.
In many ways we have beaten the odds of
even keeping our friendship alive. It is hard to really be friends when you live
more than 500 miles apart and can only see each other two or three times a year.
It is even harder when you are different sexes and one of you has a boyfriend,
and then a husband. Most friendships under those circumstances would have
ended long ago.
Friendships by nature seem to be short
term. Childhood friends seldom remain with us as we enter high school. We go
from high school friends to college friends to our work friends. On occasions we
may still see our friends from the past, but, these times can be a little
painful and sad as you realize that a transformation has taken place. The people
from our past have gone from being friends to being acquaintances, someone we
used to know.
Jennifer and I have somehow managed to
stay friends. I am not sure how, but, it may be the very reason we became
friends in the first place. She always did say, "Different people are needed for
different things." I guess we still fulfill a need in each other. That is where
I have a problem today.
I do still have a need to see my friend.
Jenny may have a similar need to see me. She will, though, sacrifice her own
needs, as all parents do, to take care of the needs of her son. Nathan's needs
come first. With that, my need for her friendship must also be
sacrificed.
Change is inevitable in our lives. We have
to able to adapt. Nathan has brought change into Jennifer's life and with that
he has also brought change into my life. I only hope that the change Nathan
brings isn't the beginning of a transformation in my relationship with Jennifer.
I hope change does not cause us to go from being friends into being
acquaintances; someone I used to know.
There will be a single flickering candle
on Nathan Ryan's birthday cake. His parents will light the candle with care and
great joy as Nathan passes through one of the many milestones he will face in
his life. One he barely knows will also pass through another milestone in
his life with this event.
As Nathan blows out the light on his
birthday cake, I hope he is also not extinguishing the light of a friendship
which passes it into acquaintanceship. You see, best friends are too hard to
find.
|
