My young friend Karen has been spending a lot of time sitting by the phone
recently. Her eyes are mostly red these days as she tries to come to grips with
why her phone is so silent. There is a very big and very important dance coming
up at her school, and she still has not received an invitation to attend.
I am not sure what boys look for in a 15 year old girl today. Probably much
of the same things as boys did when I was 15 or 16. That causes me to wonder why
Karen is till waiting the phone to ring. I would have thought that it would be
ringing its little clapper off. But, then I thought that my phone would have
been ringing that Sadie Hawkins Day so many years ago.
Sadie Hawkins Day was a few days away and I had still not been asked to the
dance on Saturday night. I had dropped many hints to several girls, but, either
the hints were not picked up on, or the girls all had better prospects. Saturday
arrived. The invitations did not.
During those days preceding Sadie Hawkins Day I got a new perspective on the
dating game, and felt great empathy for all the girls who sit by the phone
hoping and praying for it to ring. If they were a representation of society
today, they would be the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe
fee; free from this prison whose keys lies in the simple ring of the phone. They
really don't care who calls so long as he is a member of the human species and
is a reasonable gentleman.
As the dance grew closer and closer I really didn't care who called. I just
wanted the phone to ring. When it didn't, the feeling of isolation and rejection
ran rampant through me. Also, Confusion! I knew how to handle being turned down
for a date as that had happened more time than I care to remember. But, I always
had the law of averages on my side then. I held destiny in my own hands. If I
asked enough girls for a date, sooner or latter one had to say
yes. Sooner or latter I had to come across one of the desperate huddled
masses waiting by the phone. This time though, I was one of the huddled
masses!
I never did really understand the "Dating Game" when I started to
play it so many years ago, and I still don't understand it today. What do girls
want from guys? What do the guys want from the girls? Why is it so hard to meet
on some common ground? Even Abby and Ann don't have any answers so I am
convinced that none exist. However, after much thought and research into the
subject I have come up with two theories.
Women approach dating as they approach shopping for shoes. First of
all, they want something that is comfortable. Then they want something that has
a little style to it, something they can wear with a variety of outfits, and of
course, they are always looking for the best bargain. I can't for the life of me
understand why they all seem to end up with a pair that pinches too much and one
that their mothers never seem to like.
Men attack dating in the same manor as they attack shopping for a used
car. The first thing on their list is they want something that will impress
their friends. They want a model that has a good body with little or no rust,
and with very low mileage on her. Why they end up with one that burns oil and is
consistently rattling is beyond my grasp.
I don't understand what is or is not attractive and why some people have a
lot of luck at this dating game while others have trouble getting even the
parting gifts. I am not sure how or why this Sadie Hawkins Day mess started back
in Dogpatch USA and what the relationship was (if any) between Abner and Daisy.
I do know, though, that every guy should have at least one invitation
in his life on Sadie Hawkins Day, and when it is the season for important High
School dances, no one should have to sit by the phone with her eyes turning to
glass.
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