Can someone please explain to me what in the world is going on here?! Are we all vying for the last position in the last village on the
planet?!?
I can't figure it out . . . and . . . well . . . I'm not sure there is any
plausible answer. In case you are wondering what I ranting about now, I just heard on the news that the new
"Politically Correct Bible" was just released.
"Politically Correct Bible!", you say. YES!! Believe it or
not. I am sure many of you have heard something about this, but, in case
you haven't or just forgot what it was all about, let me fill you in or
refresh your memory.
You see, there were some people with too much time on their hands who
were working on the gender neutral bible. Well, guess what!?
They've finished it. And, as silly as their efforts were going to be, they have gone above and beyond all known
levels of stupidity and irrational behavior into a vast unknown where no
silliness has gone before.
Now, I can understand, and believe it or not, almost (remember, I said almost) support the efforts of these
people in need of a village in their attempts to eradicate all sexist language from the pages of the bible. However, and this is a VERY BIG HOWEVER, there comes a point where calling the efforts of these people absurd is an inane understatement, and,
boy and girls, we have hit the point big time.
Here are just a few examples of how the politically correct crowd sees errors in the 2000 plus year history of pages of the most bought (though not necessarily most read) book in the world.
First, did you know that Jesus Christ is not sitting at the right hand of the Father? Nope. It seems that southpaws of the world (AKA left handed people) take offense to that. It is now the almighty hand of the lord. Lord is used because we can't say father; too insensitive to mothers, whose title can also not be used. Where needed,
our PC friends created a new hyphenated person called Father-Mother. Or is it Mother-Father? ...? ...? ...? (Does anyone besides me
hear a cue for a song here?)
Now, do you all remember the "Dark Ages" ? You may remember a passage in the bible that talks of "no darkness in the presence of the lord". Well, not any more. It is now "there is no absence of light". Dark can't be used for obvious reasons. I can't wait until the weight-watchers of the world put their two cents in on the subject of light. What is it going to be then, no lack of soft white illumination? (My apologies to our friends at GE).
There are many more moronic changes like these throughout the
new-revised-up-to-date-totally-unoffensive-absolutely-politically
-correct-King-James-Queen-Jenny-bible. (I haven't figured out yet what we call hymns now.) All of them are
idiotic!
So what is next. Are we to change the colors of the flag because someone finds them offensive?
Do we ban every instance of literature, music, art, and God knows what else because some poor soul who has nothing better to do with his, her, or its time
whines and bellyaches about it? Do terms like "black humor",
black cloud", "tall order", "manhandle",
"son-of-a-bitch", and "woman's intuition" have to be banned?
I don't know, but, here is the long and short of it!!
(Whoops! Is that term allowed!?)
The late Lewis Grizzard, columnist for the Atlanta Constitution, and syndicated in many papers across the county, told us often about
the thought police. He rallied us to fight them and political correctness at every turn. He knew, and he made those of us who are his fans know, it is impossible to smile and be politically correct. He told us to keep our sense of humor. Lewis knew it is impossible to laugh when the thought police are telling you what to do and how to act.
Well, I am taking up the torch and carrying the flag that Louis Grizzard left behind. I for one refuse to go along with in insanity of what is or isn't politically correct any more. For God sake! I can't even compliment some member of the feminine species on what she is wearing without some PC lawyer taking down notes and serving me with a summons to go to court to answer to sexual harassment charges.
NO MORE!!
I refuse to take part in this charade any longer. The line has been
crossed and I am not retreating. I will fight the speech patrol
and though police wherever the battlefield may be. I will do all I can to assure that we have more villages built, because God knows, we have a shortage of them. The idiots are taking over and they are doubling and tripling up.
We must fight back!! We need to get back to each village having one, and only one idiot, PC or
otherwise. We need to lighten up and relax; not take the world,
ourselves, and the neurotic lunacy that is this planet so seriously.
And, maybe we can all finally start to smile and laugh again; to have
some fun. And maybe, just maybe, we can live happily ever after.
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