I am not sure if it is just me or if the whole world just
doesn’t get it any more. All I know is that as I get older it seems I’m
getting dumber. I can’t figure things out any more like I used to.
We had a rainy Saturday morning not too long ago and I sat
down to do the bill paying thing. Usually this task is reserved for Sunday
nights, but, with the rain falling and all - - - well, you know.
Because I hate this task I have set up as many on-line
paying options as I can. But, I still handle a few bills the old fashion
way -- pen, checkbook, stamps, and envelope. Some of the bills reserved for
this way include utility bills. Most of the time I just find the page with the
total amount I owe (which is a task in itself with all the massive
collection of processed dead trees stuffed into the little envelopes),
write a check and go on to the next bill.
This Saturday morning, though, I actually read the bills.
I don’t know if you have every read these things, but, I don’t get it.
Did you realize on your phone bill you pay six different taxes! (That is,
here in New Hampshire we do. Your state may be more or less.) SIX!!! They are
FCC Line Charge, Local Number Portability (huh?), Federal Tax (of course),
911 Enhanced Surcharge, Federal USF (what ever the heck that is) Surcharge, and
NH State and Local Tax. YIKES!! Does anyone
understand this?
Now my "basic" phone bill for this month
happened to be $18.70. That really isn’t too bad. (Of course long
distance is now a separate bill.) The total of the six taxes was $7.64
making a total of "basic" service $26.34. I may be getting
dumber but I still can do simple math. $7.64 of $26.34 is 29%. 29% of my
total bill is taxes. Of course, if you measure it against the basic bill
the taxes are 41%. No wonder the government has a budget surplus!!
You would think that after going through the phone fiasco
I’d quit reading the bills and just pay them. Nope. With my fingers
trembling I reached for the electric bill. I read it and became dizzy!
Once again no less than six different charges were listed.
(Is there something special in the minds of utility companies about this
number?) Of course, on the back of the bill explanations of seven
charges were given. (Huh?). The taxes, or charges as the electric company
calls them, include Customer and Delivery charges,
Energy and Service charges, Stranded Cost charges, System Benefit
charges,
and of course, a Consumption Tax. Egad!!
Just reading the list made me nauseous blurry eyed. You would think I’d just write the check and mail it. But, No,
I had to read the explanation of each of these. I am not even going to try
and explain them to you. But, there is one charge that has electrified my
incredulous feelings about this, the "System Benefits Charge".
The electric company describes this as, "This
charge funds the energy efficiency programs for all customers as well as
assistance programs for customers within certain income guidelines."
In other words, we pay for people who can’t.
Now don’t get me wrong here. I am all for helping out
those in need. I just don’t want it forced upon me or hidden in the
midst of an incomprehensible, bureaucratic menagerie of pulp.
A moment ago I mentioned that Long Distance telephone
bills are no longer part of the local service bill. So now we have a
second telephone bill to pay. It seems to me if I remember correctly the Post Office announced
another postage increase right about the same time all this came about. Hmmm, I wonder. A second bill – A
second stamp. Can you say collusion?
Just like that sailor man I had all I could stand. I put the Cable and the Cell Phone bills
away. I got up, poured another cup of coffee, and went out and stood in
the rain, much to the wonder and amusement of my neighbors. There’s a lot
I don’t get and don’t understand. Pneumonia is not one of them and
right now, even it sounds better than having to sit down and look at one
more bill to pay.
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